Attention'

Do you love me?

Do you love me?

The question “Do you love me?” is not infrequently exchanged between mates. Even in solid, well-bonded, long-term committed relationships, a partner may pop this question at an unexpected moment. The listener may be surprised, unprepared and [...]

Revenge Affairs

Revenge Affairs

Discovering that a partner is having or had an affair is emotionally devastating. Mates who have experienced it report deep emotional pain, humiliation, self-doubt and a sense of incredulity about having been so profoundly betrayed. This [...]

Resolving marital betrayal

Resolving marital betrayal

Feeling betrayed by a mate is profoundly devastating. Betrayal is usually associated with infidelity, but even in its absence, emotional betrayal creates great pain and deep marital discord. Knowing how to manage episodes of betrayal is [...]

Reconnect with each other using the look of love

Reconnect with each other using the look of love

A common complaint of pairs seeking couple therapy is their dissatisfaction with the distance, detachment and the parallel co-existence they have developed. They grieve the loss of their earlier magical eye contacts that expressed appreciation, admiration [...]

Have you pleased your partner during the holidays? – Keep it up!

Have you pleased your partner during the holidays? – Keep it up!

Holidays are often stressful and joyous, exhausting and fun, labor intensive and relaxing. We make all the efforts to prepare for cheers through our tears. The hard work expanded in our people-pleasing endeavors is often taxing [...]

An ode to my readers

An ode to my readers

This is my 500th Relationship Matters column in the Santa Cruz Sentinel. I want to extend to you my deepest gratitude and appreciation for your loyalty, ongoing input, calls, letters, kind words and warm personal greetings [...]

For healthy relationships, curb your urge to purge your woes

For healthy relationships, curb your urge to purge your woes

The habit of complaining is universal, everyone complains at least occasionally, and some do it frequently. Though the need to express one’s woes has some psychological and social gains, it is more likely to render the [...]

Do cellphones enhance or detract from relationships?

Do cellphones enhance or detract from relationships?

A recent headline news captivated listeners’ attention: “Tech lovers choose cellphones over sex.” Is this a measure of how far our addiction to staying connected has reached? Is technology changing not only our ease of communicating [...]