Conflicts'

Befriend each other’s memory of past conflicts

Befriend each other’s memory of past conflicts

Why do partners, who attempt to resolve a conflict by rehearsing the events that led to it, often end up escalating their discord rather than decreasing it? Why do some mates avoid talking about problems believing [...]

What couples conflicts are really about may surprise you

What couples conflicts are really about may surprise you

Most people believe that fights in love relationship stem from varying needs, miscommunication patterns, early family programming, or undesirable personal traits. Though all these factors may exacerbate couples’ conflicts, the core of the problem is a [...]

Overcoming painful memories of former love relationships

Overcoming painful memories of former love relationships

Some partners complain about paying for the “sins” of their current mate’s former partner’s behavior. They resent the attribution of the negative conduct or intent to them that their partner endured in a previous love relationship. [...]

Couples conflicts are inevitable- rifts are avoidable

Couples conflicts are inevitable- rifts are avoidable

Many couples feel distress about having disagreements about their dissimilar reactions to life. Some erroneously believe that these are signs of being poorly matched. Actually, the annoyance about some of the mate’s ways is normal – [...]

What couples really fight about  (Part 2) Fighting is really about acceptance and esteem

What couples really fight about (Part 2) Fighting is really about acceptance and esteem

Fights, by definition, are the opposite of harmonious discussions. Fights occur between enemies, not lovers. The goal in a fight is to conquer, subjugate or even eliminate the opponent, none of which is appropriate for healthy [...]

What do couples really fight about?  (Part 1)

What do couples really fight about? (Part 1)

Fights between partners are the unsuccessful outcome of verbal exchanges designed to create understanding and compromise. Despite the mutual positive intent, the discourse derails and turns the loving mates into adversaries. Greater understanding of the causes [...]

How to best negotiate the household chores

How to best negotiate the household chores

A common area of discontent among couples regards the division of household chores. Usually both mates advance reasonable explanations as to why they feel that they do more than their ‘fair share’, yet both are unhappy [...]

How to change your annoying habits

How to change your annoying habits

During courtship most couples accept each other as they are, but this state of contentment does not last. With time most mates accumulate small annoyances about each other’s ways. How couples handle these lightweight frustrations impacts [...]